South Park Headcanon

shaddypink asked: To answer your question, I think you should keep it up and just encourage followers to reblog and spread the word. Headcanon blogs generally gain a lot of popularity, so it surprises me that one for a fandom as busy as South Park isn't getting a lot of attention.

Thanks! Yeah, I was thinking something along those lines too. It seems quite a few people want me to keep it, so I’ll do. :) And indeed, spread the word, spread the word! 

so i’m hardly getting any submissions at all :/ it’s kind of a waste of time to run this blog if not, so i don’t know. i’m thinking about shutting it down, but i dunno. whats your opinion? should i keep it even though it’s kinda slow? 

Butters: He is not as naive as people may think. He just plays the part because he’s afraid nobody will like him if he doesn’t. 

Kyle will figure out Stan’s drinking problem, so whenever he catches him in the act, he’ll snatch the bottle away and chug the rest so Stan doesn’t drink himself into a coma. He’ll also do it as a reminder for not being there when Stan needed him most.

Hi you guys! My computer crashed so I’ve been unable to update for a while. I’m so sorry. Now I’m back though! <3 

Kyle gets sick of getting made fun of for his jew-fro and decides to just shave it all off one day.  

Craig will skip class to go behind his high school and smoke. Stan will constantly go out and give him tough love. The two will become best friends because of it.

• because of his diabetes, kyle a.) doesn’t drink that much other than the occasional beer on major holidays or when uncle jimbo takes the boys hunting in a futile attempt to make stan less of an “animal-loving pussy” and b.) is a total lightweight. he learned early on that if he does anything more than a shot, he’ll start to do really stupid things (i.e., get into fights with cartman). so he’s usually the designated driver whenever the boys go to parties.
• stan drinks socially but didn’t inherit his father’s ability to make a giant drunken fool out of himself. well, most of the time. if he drinks in excess he almost always turns into a sad slobbering mess who talks about how shitty everything is.
• nine times out of ten, kenny is the life of the party. literally. even if no one remembers him dying, people still feel like it’s time to go home after it happens. the only person who’s seen him drunk cry is cartman (see previous post i submitted about cartman and kenny’s serious moments). also, kenny has no problem stealing his parents’ booze because he knows his friends act better drunk than his parents do when they’re sober. one time he even tried to sell it to get lunch money but the police suspected him of being the unabomber and shot him on the spot.
• drunk cartman is mostly the opposite of his normal self… mostly. the thing is, though, he doesn’t get drunk that easily due to his weight and the fact that he spent his early teens drinking his mom’s wine and singing along to journey’s greatest hits while she was out “working.”
• the one time the boys got drunk with craig, they came to find out that he drank the most out of everyone but acted exactly the same.